“It’s My Treat”: How using money to earn validation is a dangerous game
It almost never works out well.
I sat across the dinner table from two people who I knew casually from work. “Don’t worry guys, it’s my treat”, I blurted out. The bill arrived, between the 3 of us, it was $75. Without any hesitation, I reached for my wallet, and pulled out the new Capital One credit card that I got in the mail 2 weeks before.
“Oh, OK” they responded awkwardly. We’d just finished a meal at a new restaurant nearby, situated in the Chicago suburb where we worked for the same logistics company. I’d convinced myself that I was working towards a career in corporate America like I’d always wanted, but the truth was that I hated my job and I was really struggling with the daily commute from downtown Chicago.
Truth is, I was struggling with a number of things, money being near the top of that list, and I really couldn’t afford to pay for dinner. But this wasn’t the first time I’d done something like this, and it wouldn’t be the last.
Time after time, I used money to seek validation. Whether it was dinners, jewellery, small loans, clothing or gifts, I spent tens of…